I Want Love
Last night, I was watching the movie Love, Rosie and it's honestly a very cute film about all those moments of missing out on true love with the one. Although it got me thinking that I feel like that is my life missing out on true love because I've never really experienced it.
This year I experienced my first ever date and it was just what I hoped for. A walk around while holding hands and drinking coffee. Going for food then going to the arcade and playing the games. It was honestly so perfect, and it made me so happy. Especially the guy who I experienced it with. For the first time, I thought maybe finally I've found the one and maybe I have because I'm still talking to him. Yet, I'm unsure if it will ever be serious. Of course I hope it will be, but life seems to always throw me these curve balls where a guy I choose to date doesn't want anything serious with me. I guess that's okay if you're used to it (which I am) but it's not okay when you don't even know what it feels like to have someone that really cares about you and loves you. To know that there is someone that wants to spend their life with you. Obviously, that's a big commitment but it just would be nice even if it was a small amount of time to have someone make me their girlfriend.
I know I may go on about this a lot but it's something I do think about. I'm 25 years old and never had anyone make me their girlfriend. People tell me the right one will come along but honestly, I'm over a quarter a way through life and it feels like I don't have a lot of time left to know what it feels like to experience the love of a partner because it does start to feel like the longer it keeps happening, the realisation that nobody wants me to be their girlfriend. It really does suck.
Of course, I know I have the love of my family and the limited number of friends I do have which I am so grateful for. It just would be nice to know what it feels like to have the love of a boyfriend. Can I please somehow get that before I'm 30? Who knows? I do remain hopeful it will one day happen.
We shall see though.
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