A Guide To Online Dating

As someone who has done the whole online dating thing many times, it's a real struggle and a whole process in itself. Especially if you're hoping to find love at the end of it all. Now I'm currently single at this point in time so sadly I'm not one of those success stories but I've learned a thing or two about online dating which I thought could be useful to my fellow singletons also struggling through the online dating world.

1. Is online dating the way forward?

If you're secretly hoping to live like one of your favourite romance novels or movies where you meet someone and it's love at first sight, well I'm sorry to say that you're going to be waiting a long time to find that because that's not how the world works anymore. It's a real struggle to meet people face to face these days because most of the time we live in a world where everything is online and we hear of these true crime stories all the time of people being followed or meeting strangers online who turn out to be someone completely different in person. It's a scary world but sadly it is the only way you're going to meet someone especially as an adult so if you're single in 2023 and wishing you could find yourself a partner then I would recommend trying online dating and don't worry I'm going to help you get through it. 

2. Which dating app?

These days there are so many dating apps like Tinder, Bumble but one which really surprised me and I'd recommend was Facebook of all places. You can create a profile on there which is not linked to your Facebook and there is literally no way to find your actual profile from your dating profile because it only gives your first name. As long as you've set your privacy settings to friends only then nobody can see much of your profile unless they are friends with you. Facebook dating also has no ads and access to all its features for free. Other dating apps I find you have to pay a premium to see who has even viewed your profile or liked you. Either way it's about trial and error really to see which dating app suits you. 

3. Don't reveal too much personal info

Keep your profile very very simple because at the end of the day you are exposing yourself to complete strangers and the less they know the better. Even your surname could be a giveaway. Keep it very simple to your first name, age, gender and roughly whereabouts your from. I'd recommend saying your nearest town or city so you're not completely specific about your location. Also with your bio keep it short and don't tell your whole life story. Honestly, nobody wants to hear how your last ex treated you or that you've never dated anyone before. Those are for the private chats you have.

4. Don't lie about yourself

This is an obvious one but don't try to be someone you're not. If you've never been to the gym in your life don't say that. Honestly, just be yourself and say what your interests are. You never know you may find some common ground with some people. As long as you be yourself then the right one will be found. Plus it's easier just to be honest with people than to lie. Just don't reveal too much about yourself like your weird habits and fetishes because you don't want to put people off.

5. Don't have too many group photos on your profile

Honestly, the thing that always bugs me when it comes to online dating is those profiles where they have group photos and no photos of just themselves so you have to work out which one is the one that's talking to you. Have the odd group photo if you want to show off you're a social person but have a few selfies of just yourself on there because it's you after all that you want them to date. Plus make sure they are up to date photos and not photos from a few years ago. Of course if you haven't changed much in the past couple of years then use those but if your appearance has changed slightly then have up to date photos on your profile because at least you're keeping it real with everyone that views your profile.

6. Narrowing it down

Majority of the time you're going to get a few weirdos. Sometimes they can be really clingy and needy. Sometimes they take it sexually very quickly. Sometimes they ask just a few too many personal questions. It happens. Just be very on your guard and don't reveal too much personal information because sometimes people aren't always what they seem. There have been a lot of online dating scams where people appear to be friendly then say I need a favour, can you lend me some money? This is someone that doesn't have good intentions if they're asking you for money and you've never even met them. I'm not saying be suspicious of everyone you talk to online but just be very careful about how much you tell them. There may be times where they may ask you for your phone number or snapchat which is fair enough because sometimes dating apps don't have the best notification settings or you switch them off because it can be annoying. It's entirely up to you. I'd give away just one of those things at first because you don't want to give them everything in one go because you may end up not liking them. 

7. Switching to Whatsapp/Snapchat

These are the two common apps that people switch to when doing online dating because you can't really see much personal info. They only have either your username or phone number. The beauty is you can block people if you don't like them after talking to them for a while. Just make sure you set your privacy settings. Turn off your Snap maps and make sure your privacy settings are set to private or to a select few trustworthy people. Do this for all your social media because sometimes people are clever and will try to look you up on social media so make sure they can't really see much of it. More importantly don't bring up where you work, just be very vague about your job because the last thing you want is some random person you've never met show up to your work. Better yet don't even mention your workplace on social media at all. Those who know where you work don't need to see it on social media anyway. Just remind yourself of all those internet safety lessons and videos you watched in school and you'll be fine.

8. Arranging to meet

Eventually you may want to actually meet this person. Having snapchat is great because most likely you will have had a few selfies of the person so you know they're not lying about what they look like. I wouldn't arrange to meet up with someone until I've had a week worth of conversation with them because that gives me an idea of whether or not I actually want to meet them or not. If you have a good feeling about them, by all means meet up for a first date. However, make sure you take these steps as remember it is a person you've never met before and they could be different in person than they are through their messages. ALWAYS meet in a public place. Don't be tempted to go to their place or invite them to yours. They may seem nice but you really don't know. There is plenty to do like going for food or coffee or just anywhere. I went on a first date to an arcade and had a really great time. There's lots of options you can do. Now you can get a good idea of a person from a first date and especially if you've been talking for over a month then you can really see if your intentions match. Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do on a first date. If it's going really well and they suggest going back to their place, don't feel like you have to. Tell them you're not ready for that stage yet and see how they react. It won't bother them if they have good intentions but if they want to take it to the bedroom then they may just want it to be a casual fling. The choice is always yours and remind yourself that no means no. Always keep it consensual. 

9. What now?

That depends really on whether the first date was a success or not. If it went really well and you both enjoyed it then chances are you'll probably meet again. If it didn't go so well then you can say it was fun but I don't think I'm ready and just move on. If you found it great but the other person isn't as talkative anymore then take that as your sign that they are not interested. Of course you'd like to hope they'll offer an explanation but chances are they won't and will probably just ghost you. Honestly, I can't really tell you what to do after your first date because I've had many different scenarios of what went down after a first date. Just play it cool, stay true to yourself and try not to be one of those crazy ones that turn into stalkers and detectives. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't then just move on with your dignity still intact. 

That's my guide to online dating in 2023. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you have better luck than I have with online dating. If you have any other tips or advice then let me know in the comments below and maybe we can help each other through the complex world of online dating. I'm not a professional advice giver and I'm just basing this on my own experience so feel free to use this guide or completely ignore. Every dating experience is different at the end of the day. I'm currently not on any dating apps at the moment because I really am just enjoying my single life and remember you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Remember to always love yourself first.

Thank you for reading my blog and I'll be back tomorrow with another post.

See you then.

Megan x 

*This is not a sponsored post* 

For business enquiries or just a chat email: megantimeblog@gmail.com