Dealing With Heartbreak

This year something new happened to me. It all began when I decided to try online dating again and I didn't really think too much of it. Eventually I met this guy and after talking for a month we met up then things just grew from there. Before you know it, we became officially boyfriend and girlfriend which if you've read my blog in the past will know is a huge milestone because I've never had a boyfriend. I've dated guys in the past but it never led to anything serious. Now from the title you may be able to tell that it didn't end well because we eventually parted ways. Now I'm not going to spill the tea as to why because that's between me and him but I will say it did affect me because I did catch feelings for him. Plus it was a weird feeling to go from talking to someone everyday and seeing them almost every week to nothing is a bit of a rollercoaster of emotion. It took me a bit of time to even get over it as sometimes the emotion just hit me and I felt quite sad about it. 

Now though, I'm at a better place where I feel okay about it and I found some things that really helped me to deal with a break up so I thought I'd share them with you as a way to help anyone get over a heartbreak whether that's a break up, a loss of a loved one or something else that is really hurting you. Here are some ways to help you get through it. 

1. It's okay to cry about it

Honestly, no matter what the heartbreak is. No matter how strong you want to be about it all, it's okay to cry about it. Even if you're the one who did the breaking up, perhaps you did it for a good reason and the alternative was even more heartbreak. Don't try to bottle all your emotions up in the hopes they will go away because honestly they won't. Have a cry about it because sometimes just letting it all out will feel like a weight has been lifted from you. Have a talk with someone you trust and have a cry with them too. They will understand why you're upset and it's okay to feel sad about it all. Getting your heartbroken is honestly one of the worst feelings in the world and so that is an excuse enough to have a good ugly crying fest. Plus it doesn't matter how soon or later on down the line you do have a cry about it. Emotions are weird and it can just hit you all at once so don't be afraid to cry about it if you want to. Just let it out.

2. Distract yourself

Honestly, the worst thing you can do is sit and overthink everything. How you could have dealt with things differently and all the different scenarios that could have happened instead. There's no point so try to find things that can distract you from the heartbreak. During my time I was dealing with being my bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding which honestly is one of the worst times to deal with heartbreak but it gave me a distraction because I couldn't focus on being a debbie downer, I had to be there for my best friend who was getting married and be happy for her which I was. It made me realise that my best friend was more important than any man. As the saying goes, sisters before misters and in that moment I knew that whatever relationship troubles had to be set aside for this one weekend for my best friend's wedding. Honestly, even though the timing was really bad to go through a heartbreak I was glad I had my best friend's wedding to distract me. So my biggest tip would be to find ways to distract yourself from everything that's going on whether it's doing something you love or a big once in a lifetime even like a wedding, whatever the distraction then put all your focus onto it and it will help you to forget for a short time about the heartbreak that's going on in your life. 

3. Accept it

If you accept that it's over then you're one step closer to moving on. Don't try to pin any hopes that maybe the other person will change their mind and want you back. If you've crossed that line of a break up then you need to accept it otherwise you'll never fully get over it and really impact your mental health. Give yourself some space and don't try to get into touch with them. I've learned that one of the worst things you can do is send long paragraphs of text messages because ultimately the reply you'll get is a short one and honestly that sucks because it will make you realise that you care more than they do. You need to put yourself and your dignity first. Don't beg for them to come back to you or say how much you love them because ultimately when someone's mind is made up that they want to break up then it's a real struggle to change it.

4. Don't message your ex

I know it is a weird feeling to go from talking to someone everyday to no longer speaking. You may be tempted to check up on them and see how they're doing but honestly, while your intentions are good usually this never ends well. It may trigger a whole load of emotions and cause you to be upset again that you'll go back to square one of just feeling sad. It can also be that your ex messages you from time to time and because you're a nice person, you just reply because you'll feel bad if you don't. This is not okay because you can't fully move on if your ex is still in the picture. As hard as it may be, you need to stop yourself from messaging your ex or if your ex messages you then explain you need space and not to message you for a while This doesn't mean you never have to speak to them again but in the weeks of you breaking up, you need to give yourself some space from your ex because it will just keep opening old wounds that will never fully heal properly. Just think of it as a scab on your knee. It's healed over and it may be tempting to pull the skin off but if you do it will cause you to bleed again and then it will need to heal over again. Just keep the bandage on the wound until you're fully healed then finally you can take it off. It just gives you time to put into perspective of the situation, maybe even you'll realise the reason you broke up or finally see all the red flags you ignored before. Either way, I highly suggest when you're dealing with a breakup it is not to message your ex. Especially so soon after you break up, it won't help you to move on. 

5. Enjoy being single

Being single is not a bad thing. Sometimes you need that time to realise who you are and know that it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not. You're still the same person so take this breakup as a chance to reinvent yourself. Learn how to be independent and take yourself out on dates. One of the best things I learned was the art of being independent. I can confidently go to the cinema and watch a movie on my own or go out for a meal by myself. It's an amazing feeling when you realise it's no different to if you're with somebody or not. Learn how to love yourself first because honestly, if you know exactly who you are and what your worth is then you'll be able to tell when somebody is good for you or just using you. It will really put everything into perspective. So yeah, break ups do suck but being single doesn't mean it's the end of the world. 

There we have it. Those are five ways on how to deal with heartbreak. Let me know if you have any suggestions in the comments below. I'd love to hear it and maybe we can all help each other out. 

Thank you for reading my blog and I'll be back tomorrow with another post. 

See you then. 

Megan x 

*This is not a sponsored post* 

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